madeeasy 1:28 Thu Feb 2
Family court proceedings
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Has anyone ever had to push and go to court for an enforcement order for a family matter?
I have to go to court Tuesday, as i am enforcing one on my ex wife, but have never done an enforcement hearing before.
I am imagining that it is very simliar to other hearings which i am comfortabel with doing but advice if you have been on either end of the one would be appreciated.
I don't have the top dollar to get a solicitor for this as i also have an expensive final hearing in march for the day.
Many thanks in advance
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Stevethehammer
11:52 Wed Feb 8
Re: Family court proceedings
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The best advice I was given when texting, messaging etc with the ex regarding children, divorce et al is to imagine that message being read out in court.
Her lawyer would pull you to shreds if you use derogatory terms in messages as it can be used to show character.
Just keep calm in all messages, court hearings etc and let the "law" do what it is meant to do.
All the best mate
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Pagey
11:38 Wed Feb 8
Re: Family court proceedings
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The reality is that the court system is so unbelievably bias towards the mum that it's untrue. It would be laughable if it wasn't so painful. Failure to turn up or even notify anyone should be treated accordingly but for some reason there are different rules. Unfortunately you do have to play the game and it will rip your heart out at times in all honesty - but you will get there.
She's trying to get you rattled so you do something stupid and then she'll use that against you. So don't do it. Write everything down, including dates and times and continue to stay as calm as you can. Scream in the car on your own if it helps but don't react to her.
Having been through this myself I can honestly say that any mum's out there who stop the dad from seeing his kids for no reason are absolute cunts. Even that's being nice. They are usually massive attention seekers, mental as fuck and have no idea of the misery that they're causing their own children. The scariest thing is that they truly believe their own lies that they spew out.
It's one of the hardest things to deal with and its so easy and understandable to lose control and stay sane, but just remember that you're doing it for your kids and, trust me, they will love you for it further down the line when they're old enough to realise how spiteful and selfish their prick of a mum was. Never slag off their mum though, they will work that one out for themselves.
Be the better person and don't resort to her level.
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madeeasy
11:23 Wed Feb 8
Re: Family court proceedings
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Managed to keep very calm.
Mianly due to her not bothering turning up. She has a solcitor who the court was told was on holiday but they also didn't send anyone else from the firm to represent her and she didn't bother turning up either.
Nor did she tell the court.
What did the court do, fuck all. all the evidence was there and they said they couldn't do anything as she wasn't there to epxlain.
So it has now been put off.
The court system for dads is a fucking joke.
Anyone going through it then my adive is don't do anything properly and just take your kids, do what the fuck yoou like and ignore all court orders, apparently they mean fuck all.
Roll on March 1st. I can't wait for this order to be final as then i shall treat it with the distain she does and it will be time to don a spiderman outfit.
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Mike Oxsaw
7:37 Fri Feb 3
Re: Family court proceedings
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"Keep calm" is probably the best bit of advice given here. Try and stick to that; don't fire back responses, take a deep breath before replying.
If you can, take notes of all you are going to say (you may have to ask if you can refer to them), plus the evidence you may have; don't truct to memory in what will be a stressful situation, no matter how much zen you exude.
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Stranded
7:02 Fri Feb 3
Re: Family court proceedings
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Never been through a marriage separation, only the ending of three longterm living-together relationships. And with no kids to complicate matters. But my one piece of advice would be, never make the mistake of thinking “That can't be true, she wouldn’t do that!” Because trust me, she most definitely would. There are absolutely no limits to what a woman will say, do or invent on her way out the door.
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Grumpster
6:16 Fri Feb 3
Re: Family court proceedings
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I don't even like children, but the lengths some people go too to spite their ex, even though it ultimately fucks up the kids, never ceases to amaze me.
Am sure it works both ways with the odd mental dad, but women really can be fucking bitter cunts.
Why can't we all just get along eh?
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Chigwell
6:08 Fri Feb 3
Re: Family court proceedings
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Magistrates won't go behind a judge's back and are likely to instruct your ex to comply, unless you have acted foolishly since the original order was made. The mother usually tells the court that the child(ren) are refusing to see the father, but unless interim contact is able to take place, the matter will not be resolved by the date of the final hearing, and it is in their interest that the court is able to make a final decision without delay. Back to your original question - I wouldn't worry about being unrepresented in court. Magistrates often have more sympathy for someone who has no lawyer to state their case. What you should do however, is to try to remain calm in the hearing and as someone has said, always concentrate on the interests of child(ren), rather than your ex's bad behaviour, in any argument why contact should be enforced..
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reece11
3:41 Fri Feb 3
Re: Family court proceedings
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I've been going through this for a while now and attended multiple enforcement order hearings.
If the mother has stopped contact for any reason of her own and this isn't backed by a child protection agency (cafcass, GP, Social services), she has no justifiable reason for suspending contact and this will be what she has to stand infront of the judge and explain.
With my experience judges in family courts thrown against this behaviour and will not be shy in telling her this.
Just stay calm and persistent with your story, give her no excuse and make sure you prepare suggestions for progression. Make sure everything is child focused and not about her.
Ive represented myself and had every accusation possible thrown at me in court and the judge has taken the side of evidence every time.
Need any help. Feel free to message me.
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Stevethehammer
2:26 Fri Feb 3
Re: Family court proceedings
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Madeeasy, I havent checked all through the replies so forgive me if already suggested, but I have been in contact before with a charity called families need fathers, you pay a small fee and they have solicitors etc, give advice and were pretty helpful knowing laws etc when it comes to things like this.
Best of luck mate.
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joe royal
2:22 Fri Feb 3
Re: Family court proceedings
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http://www.itv.com/jeremykyle
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madeeasy
11:59 Fri Feb 3
Re: Family court proceedings
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Thanks all.
Pagey good advice, i was trying to fight every little thing at the start but since i have calmed down a bit.
It amazes me at the lengths an upset woman goes to.
I don't want to put it on here what shes done but I am just shocked. I would put a link but i wouldn't dare put anyone else through that.
FVE, is that right. will they just say not to do it again
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FrancoisVanDerElst
10:03 Thu Feb 2
Re: Family court proceedings
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She will just get told to start following the previous order
.....and then probably won't
Good luck in March
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Nurse Ratched
9:32 Thu Feb 2
Re: Family court proceedings
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Girls are silly.
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Pagey
9:24 Thu Feb 2
Re: Family court proceedings
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Unfortunately I've been down this road and it's one of the hardest things to deal with. Patience is the key along with keeping your cool despite the obvious provocation.
The facts are there and your ex will have to provide concrete evidence as to why she hasn't complied with the court order - which she won't be able to do. You don't have to justify anything and I was advised to say hardly anything and let her talk herself into a corner. Which she did. The fucking prick!
Just be calm, express how much your child needs you in your life and the judge, by now, will see through all of the bollocks and bullshit. It's just a very long process full of lies and manipulation. Good luck with it all. You will get there in the end.
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BMorris
9:17 Thu Feb 2
Re: Family court proceedings
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It sounds like you are at the second hearing and have agreed an interim contact agreement before the final order is made. Is that right?
Unfortunately, the UK is miles behind the rest of Europe in recognising Fathers in family court. I'd know, I'm often in court myself.
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madeeasy
8:35 Thu Feb 2
Re: Family court proceedings
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I have a child arrangment order, it isn't the final order as that is being heard on 1st march.
However we have both been ordered by the court to stick to what is set out.
She hasnt and has broken it about a dozen times in less than 3 months and despite requests to her and her solicitor she hasnt responded and as such has forced me to have to enforce the order in the magistrates court.
The legal advsior has read the papers and it is listed for next week.
I just don't know how the hearing will go in regards to the process.
thanks
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BMorris
8:25 Thu Feb 2
Re: Family court proceedings
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I've never heard of an enforcement order. Do you mean Prohibited Steps Order?
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Chigwell
2:23 Thu Feb 2
Re: Family court proceedings
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What is the enforcement of? Interim Contact order? If so what is the view of the court welfare officer? The Judge will almost always follow his/her lead in preliminary proceedings.
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defjam
1:30 Thu Feb 2
Re: Family court proceedings
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Have you tried......
PS Good luck.
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